stop, pause, breathe (part II)

stop, pause, breathe (part II) is a piece I had not anticipated making, but as a creator I am quite satisfied with the outcome.  Although the piece isn’t exactly what I would call as a new project, it is definitely a continuation from where I left off previously and earlier from the year.  Stop, pause, breathe, in my opinion was the collection of data, while (part II) was the visual and emotional outcome.  

Through the Instagram page I created revolving around depression and self-help, I was able to garner a community and space that allows for individuals to rely upon in an anonymous manner.  I was then able to use this space as a method to interact and create conversation with those who, in my opinion, would gain comfort and security from my personal online interaction with.  

By recording myself read through the 5 most recent interactions, I once again was able to keep complete anonymity for each individual.  This also allows me to listen through the interactions I had without having to read or focus on anything but my listening skills. Throughout the video it is evident as more conversations are heard my deportment becomes more so somber and worrisome.  

Originally I thought this to simply be because of how sad it made me feel to hear some of these stories and how it brought back previous turmoils I’ve heard from any of the followers, but after watching the video myself a few times I know now that the reason for my change in demeanor revolves around hearing my own voice blend the chat conversations together and morph what I would consider and entire new amalgamation of struggles.  When hearing my voice specifically, I understood how important these interactions were for my mental health and stability as well.  

Although I cannot claim that I fully helped or saved these peoples’ lives, I do believe the “menial” gestures I made led to a stronger understanding of myself and where I am as a person.  Yes I see how this is extreme selfishness, but if I’m going to work on helping those with challenges, I need to have worked on myself first and found where I stand so I ground myself to then know what I can do from there.

stop, pause, breathe (part II)

Preston Blair

2020

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